Seriously, this month flew by without even stopping in for tea and a chat. I can't believe it's almost May. It's like we've been in warp speed since Christmas.
I'm having trouble lately with my memory. I have always had a fabulous memory which has really helped out with school or remembering important dates. Lately, I've found myself not remembering something a patient told me about their history (don't worry, I write it all down, but I hate having to go back and look it up) or forgetting things that my friends or family tell me, important dates or plans for the weekend.
At first I was really worried that I was developing Alzheimer's. I'm serious, I know too much medically not to worry about certain things. By the way, I've decided that there is no way in hell (pardon the language) that I am going to develop kidney failure, liver failure, or diabetes. I will do everything possible to prevent any of these. I can't get mental images of patients out of my head. That's incentive, let me tell you.
Where was I? See, do you see!?! My train of thought left me. Of course, I'm not as worried about becoming a real life character based on Allie in The Notebook. I have been having a real problem with being in the moment. Lately, I've been stressed, had lack of sleep, and feel like my thoughts are running at 90 miles an hour at any given moment.
I'm working on it. I'm going to try to slow down and to be in the moment. I'm actually going to start doing some yoga or at least taking a few me moments out to meditate on certain things, instead of letting them take over my every-waking moment.
Don't think that I'm not going to start doing some crossword puzzles, drinking tea daily, remembering my vitamins, exercising, learning a new language or learning to play guitar (Finally!) or something new. The most powerful thing that we have is control over our future and our health. If you can see what I see on a daily basis, you would take control back. You would be motivated to try to stop the preventable or even the unpreventable. And if genetics do win, you can have some comfort in the fact that you gave your all in the fight.
I'm getting on my soap box right now. Feel free to stop reading, but I hope you don't.
Things I believe whole heartedly:
• If you could see the 50+ year old, who looks remarkably older, struggle to breathe without their OWN must-have oxygen or struggle to take one breathe, something our healthy bodies don't even have to think about and just do, you would put down your cigarettes.
• If you could see someone's child stand beside their mother's or father's bed, watching them struggle to breathe as tears are welling up in their eyes, you would put down your cigarettes. You would stop saying how hard it is and think about someone other than yourself. How about you think about your child and what you WILL without a doubt put them through? Smoking is one of the most selfish acts that I can think of. You will burden someone else in the future. What will your reason be? It's too hard...I'm stressed and it helps...I've been doing it so long that I don't know what I would do...I'll gain weight...I've already done damage, so what is the point? Well, let me speak from your child's point of view, as my mother is a smoker, who didn't start until seven years ago (brilliant, right?). So here it goes, I, nor do they, want to be the one to put the oxygen mask or tubing on you. I, nor they, want to be the one to sit there and watch you die before my eyes and think, "Is this going to be the last breath?" Don't think that there won't be some bitterness because you had a choice and in one of the worst decisions you've ever made you put yourself first and EVERY single person that loves you last. Smoking is one of the single most stupid things you can do. My gosh, take your lungs back. Take your child's future back before it's too late.
• If you could watch someone have a heart attack and be shocked back to life, you would try everything to keep your heart healthy. If you could see their family members cry and hold on to each other, you would take blood pressure medicine or any heart medicine like you are supposed to, you would think about what goes into your mouth, and listen when there are warning signals. You wouldn't think, "Oh, that won't happen to me," because their family member lying there with a tube down their throat after multiple shocks and being wheeled to cardiac cath lab, if they are lucky, probably didn't think it would happen to them either, but it happens to people, lots of people. People just like you and me. Don't think because you are not overweight or are thin, that it won't happen to you, if you are filling your body full of saturated fats and heart hurtful foods. It will happen. I've seen it with my own eyes.
• If you saw a thirty-something year old, missing a leg because of uncontrolled diabetes, you would control your diabetes or do everything you could to prevent yourself from getting the disease, especially if you have a family history of it.
• If you saw an 80lb twenty-something year old without a uterus, ovaries or inguinal lymph nodes, you would go have that yearly check up because uterine and ovarian cancer are real and strike any age and can be stopped with early detection. If it strikes you, how can you look at your family members and say, "I just didn't feel like going or I hate going because it's gross?" Does anyone like going to gynecologist? I don't think so. Although, I do like my gynecologist. I just wish we were hanging out under different circumstances.
I could go on and on, but I won't. Please, please, please think about your health. Do it for your friends and family. I promise my next post will be upbeat. I won't keep nagging, but understand that these images are forever burned into my mind and, if I could take you all to work with me to show you what I see, then I would. I would do everything in my power to save you from the things that I see. I choose my life. It's that simple. You should choose your life too.
