Call it what you will

Okay, after the day I've had, I thought, "What better time to share all the so-called "coincidences" than now." So, I'll start with what happened to me today. I am beyond excited about it. You'll see why in just a few moments. Think what you will, but I know what I believe. Mr. O keeps telling me to knock on wood, but by putting this list I am in no way bragging and, if for some reason, things start not going my way, I'm okay with that because I have gotten quite a bit lately and I'm grateful for that. Maybe it's someone else's turn to reap the benefits, but I also know that I won't stop believing if things stop magically appearing in front of me. Without further adieu, here are examples of how the universe has smiled on me lately.


1. I went for a job interview today in Hendersonville. First off, let me say before all the interviews came coming my way, I had said aloud in my head as I lay down to sleep things like, "I need to find something closer, or I will find something closer or the job for me will come my way, I know it." When I read about the Hendersonville job, I thought it's almost perfect, but it was a night shift position. Blah. As I thought about it, I thought, "Maybe I'll walk in there and she'll offer me a better a shift." Yes, she did. She offered me a mid-shift position. I almost fell out of my chair. I told her that that position was exactly what I wanted. She told me that she got goosebumps when I said that. Unfortunately, this position is on hold too, or so I was told. Well, later that afternoon when I had gotten home from grocery shopping, I noticed that I had missed a call. It was from the ER director who told me she had great news for me and to check my email when I got the message. They are unfreezing the position for ME. Can you believe this? Now, it'll only be 32 hours for now, instead of 36, but I'll get benefits, a closer location to drive too, and a better shift. She said that she couldn't believe that they had unfroze it because they had told her absolutely not. She actually said that with me it was Divine intervention. I am seriously in some kind of euphoric haze. Now, it's not completely official until Wednesday and, unlike I had originally thought, I'll have to take a pay cut, but I figured that it was too good to be true to keep my current salary. I'm okay with this.


2. In the midst of all the interview news, I checked my mail and found that the two prints I had ordered had arrived. When I opened the package, it was not just my two prints, but they had sent me another too. What you need to know is that I had been debating between three prints, but I had ordered only the two. Well, the third mystery print, was the OTHER print that I didn't get. The one that I said, "I must have this one," when I saw it. I am still blown away that this happened. Although, I do feel guilty, so maybe I'll email the artist and tell her that I mistakenly got an extra print and that I think my heart willed it so. You also need to know that there are like 50 prints on that site.


3. You know about the interviews and how I wished for a mid-shift position and that my perfect position was 9a-9p and that's what shift the Summit position is that I interviewed for last week, even though I didn't know that. I actually thought it was a 7a-7p position based on the ad for it.


4. While I was driving to my old job when I had been offered the Horizon position, I begged for a sign on what to do, if I should accept the position or hold out for something else. I looked to my left and there was a truck beside me. A truck with the Horizon written on the side of it. I said, "Thank you very much."


5. My goals for the year have fallen into place. I have had to make very little effort. I'm very thankful for this. I guess I need to make some new goals. It only seems fair to do that. It's as if I made that blog entry and within a few weeks everything fell into place.


6. Pretty much every time I've gone thrifting for something, it has been there. I mean, I have said, "I need a vintage red belt," walked in and low and behold the exact vintage red belt that I had pictured. Odd.


7. Last Friday, as I was getting ready to go to work, I repeatedly stated that I wanted to work in Fast Track, which is less serious cases. I hadn't been there in awhile. The assignments are based on what the charge nurse wants to do. There are set people that always seem to work Fast Track also. Well, when I got to work, they told me I'd be the nurse in Fast Track. Sweet.

There are so, so many more, but I'm really tired. I'm not even in a writing mood, so I'm sure there are typos and tons of grammar errors, but you get the gist of this. I mean, it's mind blowing to me. Again, I'm grateful, so very grateful. I'm excited to see what's up next. I have a few plans that I hope come to fruition. We'll just have to wait and see.

Poetry of an american teenager

Poetry from my younger teenaged and early twenties self. Ponder it. Sorry about the language in the last poem. I was a very passionate person.

The Candyman

I'm afraid of the man
that sits on my curb and
offers me all the candy
i could ever need.
Sugar becomes sex,
and love walks away with
a smile,
and this sucker tastes
good enough to eat.

The Harvest

The lies
fall from my mouth
like sinful fruit
that without hesitation
you savor mindlessly
forgetting to wait for the lies
to ripen to truth

Dream #10

A dog walks a man
down an endless road
of candy cane houses
while their owners stand
on their hands and smile
toothless grins at one another
while the clocks all tick
backwards and the moon is the sun
and the sun is the moon
And all the vampires
lay in tanning beds
baking their skin to golden brown
while the boogy man
sits at a quaint little cafe
dining on a salad with fat-free dressing
while reading Vogue, and wishing to be
the next Kate Moss in Calvin Klein underwear
And the sound of The Bangle's
"Walk like an Egyptian" pours out speakers
installed in every street light
only interfered with the sound of the ice cream
truck coming up the ladders
never down the chutes
And the ice cream man sells
heroin in a cone and prozac on a stick
And all the rail-thin toothless smiling people
dream of the day when they will, hopefully,
become fat and cease to see their
bones in the upside down mirrors of sorrow
that make up all the sidewalks,
so that everyone can see up each other's skirts
while they walk down the street to the
"open mic" nights at the coffee shops
where no one ever talks but instead
all sit quietly reading the bible
wondering who God really is?

Lovesick

Your sugarcoated words
eat holes through my mind.
I wonder
how much longer
it will be
until all my thoughts are
decayed?

What is Forever?

Sitting on a pedestal
deflowered by the fingers of reality
Tongue-twisted and out of breath
from a kiss that never existed
In love with the idea of love
but not knowing what the f@!+ it is.
Knowing only that I hate companionship
to the point of craving nothing else.
And I hate the way that
you're pounding on the walls of my memory
as if to let me know that you're still there
and you will always exist,
and I'll never sleep.
Scabbed knees and red lipstick,
kiss me and make me all better
Open my mouth
but the words have dried up
and i cry
because i don't know what else to say
Scrape my nails down the spine
of my subconscious,
but nothing is underneath.
My identity is drowning
in thick rivers of regurgitated wants
that are flushed away form
everything that i need.

Another day, another dollar

While sitting in the break room on Monday, I made the comment that I never knew how many people lacked personal hygiene until I started working as a nurse. Flash forward to Tuesday, the universe laughed in my face as I dealt with the lack of bathing ALL day. I'll give you the highlights, foot odor, holding my breath during a catheter insertion, and unbathed for at least week. Lesson learned, I'll keep my mouth shut. Thank you.

I've worked a crazy schedule this week, so I'm sorry for the lack of communication. I've been either sleeping, driving or working. Lets see, I worked Saturday night shift, Monday day shift, and then 3pm-3am last night. Needless to say, I'm glad that I have the day off.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, which includes girl's night, the flea market, and Sunday with no plans. Woot! Ah, sunshine and warmth, how I've missed you so. It's time to let my arms see the sunlight.

Next month's schedule is more consistent. After next week, I'll be on day shift. Yes! I even have a couple of Saturdays off. My schedule should probably stay like this for a while. One of the girls at work just went on maternity leave and the other one should go at the end of the next month. That is great for me, since they are both on day shifts.

Oh yeah, I'm sure you've been waiting with bated breath about my job interview. It went really, really well. The job is actually on hold (story of my (nursing) life) right now, but that actually works out because I'm hoping that they will call me after April and before my boss puts together the May schedule. If that happens, it was really meant to be. I didn't want to leave my coworkers hanging and I won't, if it goes this way. If you don't believe in "putting something out into the universe," so to speak, then you are missing out. Whether you call it fate, God, a divine power, or coincidence, it is true that if you put it out or put mind to it, you will be rewarded. I'm dumbfounded at half the things that I wish or think that immediately happen. I am blown away on a daily basis. I know, you feel me, Beaz. Mr. O tells me not to read into things too much, but I'm not reading, I'm just believing.

I don't feel like I should try to convince you. It doesn't work, if you try to believe for someone else. They must believe in it and themselves. If I could give you all what you wanted, I would. You know, I'm a sucker for the well being of others. Case in point, I'm watching Biggest Loser right now and I cried within the first five minutes. I love when people are happy and do great things. Now, if they could just bathe along the way, then I would be really happy. I'll make another entry about the so-called coincidences that have occurred recently. It will be a nice way to remind myself that I'm a lucky girl.

Oh, the weight of the world is heavy

Okay, so what's been weighing heavily on my mind, you ask? Well, first off, let me say that I love my job. I love the people, the atmosphere, and my awesome boss. I do not like the drive. I HATE the drive. I realized when I took the job that it would be an hour drive. I did not factor in that nurses have to be on the floor at their start time, not clocking in. Someone is always waiting on you to either go to lunch or to give report, so that they can go home. So, this means, that I have to leave my house at least 15-20 minutes early on the trips to Dickson to make sure that I get there with time to put my stuff away, use the bathroom, and load my pockets for my shift. I am basically losing two hours and twenty minutes in driving every time I go to work.

Now, I have thought about staying the night at a hotel (I only have to pay either $15 or $20 depending on where I stay) on days when I have three shifts in a row, but I do not sleep well in hotels and I'm creeped out by the thoughts of bed bugs and grossness.

So, here is the kicker (the heaviness, the choice), on a whim, I emailed the Summit nursing recruiter about a job in the ER that I had seen that was posted. I only have four months experience, so I figured she'd email me back and say that I didn't have the experience. I told her in the email to just keep me in mind for at least a part-time position, so that I could have full-time hours between the two jobs. Um, she emailed me alright, asking when I could interview. I am in shock. I guess you shouldn't ask for something, unless you really mean it. Not only, did she email me back, but so did the recruiter at Centennial, who I had emailed about a position in the OB ER. I was shot down for that one, but she told me that I could INTERVIEW for the a job in the ER at night during the week. Shut yo' mouth. I know.

I guess, it's true what they say, that once you have a little experience under your belt, the sky is the limit when it comes to nursing jobs. I hope you're listening Tennessee Oncology, who won't give me a chance.

I'm left feeling excited, guilty and confused. The director of the ER at Summit called my boss to ask about me. I did not tell her I was applying. I didn't really apply. I just sent an email to the recruiter. I told her this, that I never thought that they would actually email me back, let alone use the word interview. To top the guilt off, she said good things about me. She was the only one that gave me a chance when I was looking for jobs and here it is four months later and I'm already looking for an exit. I feel horrible. Plus, everyone at work is super nice. They let me ask a million questions and don't look at me like I'm idiot. Well, minus one of the doctors and a couple of the nurses, but I think out of 50 something nurses for only one or two to be mean is pretty awesome odds.

Here's my dilemma, not that I know if I'm even going to get offered the job, but do I take it? I haven't emailed the recruiter back at Centennial just yet. I'm not sure that I want too, but remember, Centennial was my number one choice when I was looking for a job. Oh dear, the decisions will drive a person crazy.

Here's a list of my concerns for either taking the job or not taking the job and staying where I am. Help me out, my peeps! What do you think I should do? Ultimately, I know it's my own decision.

Pros:

• I would have a set schedule. I don't like having an unset schedule. I'm a planner by
  nature and all this going from morning, to night shift to mid-shift, as left me
  extremely tired to say the least, not to mention my sleep pattern is all over
  the place and I feel constantly tired, even when I sleep in half the day.
  So, a set schedule would be awesome. Plus, I wouldn't have to cancel plans when they call me the day of asking if I can work. Ugh, I hate that.


• Less maintenance on my car and money towards gas and not feeling like I waste so much time driving. Ah, that drive. No more. How about 10 minutes from my house at the most? I have never had a job that close to my house. I'm not sure I'd know what to do with myself.


• I would get benefits immediately. Basically, I would be considered a transfer employee. We pay an arm and a leg for Aaron's insurance. I'm talking $400+ a month. I'm not sure about how much I would have to pay at the hospital, but I'm thinking that it is probably good insurance and well worth whatever amount you have to pay.


• Being a transfer, I think I would get my same rate of pay. I make like $7 more than a full-time worker because I am PRN and work crazy shifts. I'm not 100% on this, but that is unbelievable to me. It doesn't seem fair, but I'm down with making the same!


• I would be full-time. Meaning, three shifts a week. Word! Our bank account would thank me.


• Better shift hours. It's crazy, but I have always said that 9am-9pm would be the perfect shift for me. They do not offer that shift where I work. It just so happens that the shift I applied for is either 9-9 or 11-11. How crazy is that? It's like my prayers were answered.

Cons:

• I like all the people where I work. I don't like being the new person and I'm just getting to the point where I'm not the new person anymore. I like almost everyone at the job. I'm becoming friends with them. Check out my facebook, like 20 of them are now my friend on there.


• People aren't bothered by my questions. I still have a million questions every day. I mean, I'm a new nurse. I still have to ask about things every day. I would hate to start a new job and they all feel burdened by me because I have to ask a million things.


• They need me now more than ever. I'm not just saying that. They really do. One of the other nurses, just went on maternity leave and another one will go soon. Not to mention, there are like 5 other girls pregnant. If I leave now, they will be in a bind. Plus, I'm getting more hours now and next schedule they are all day shifts because I took the shifts of the girl that went on maternity leave.


• I like where I work. I'm used to where things are and how things are done. What if it's totally different at another hospital. How will I get used to it? It'll be restarting all over and erasing what I learned at my current work.


• The position I applied for is weekend days. I'm really concerned about not seeing everyone anymore. I mean, I've had a few break downs already about not ever seeing my family or friends. See how much I care about you guys? I burst into tears last weekend because Aaron told me that he had to work on Sunday, which was going to be the first time I was going to get to see him in three days. So, for everyone out there that thinks being off during the week is great, it is, but you don't think about working on the weekends and not seeing anyone because just about everyone works during the week and is off on the weekends. Sigh. Yes, I knew I would have to do this when I was a nurse, but it still sucks. Wasn't that stated eloquently?

There you have it, the pros and the cons. I'm sure there are more, but my mind is racing, so I can't think of them right now. What do I do? I'm so torn, but at the same time, excited about the possibility. Why do life's decisions have to be so difficult? Why when you are at crossroads can't there be a sign that says, "This way to a positive and rewarding future." I'll let you know how Thursday goes.

A letter

Dear allergies,

So we meet again. You seem to think that we are friends, instead of just mere acquaintances that meet up a three or four times a year. Well, if you insist on hanging around, I'd like you to meet my friend, Zyrtec. He's quite charming, but I don't think he really likes you being around me. He's possessive in that respect.

Now, please scoot off for the next six months and whatever you do, please leave my nose and right ear alone. What have they done to you?

Sincerely,

Mrs. O

Spring has sprung..

Ah, that title is part of a haiku that I wrote in the fourth or fifth grade. It cracks me up every time I think about it. Spring is officially almost here. There were ducks in the pool of water that collects beside out house. Thank you builders for taking away the creek and leaving an eye sore by our house when it rains! I thought I would miss the winter, or at least my winter wardrobe, but after spending my day looking at some new fashion magazines that were delivered this week, I say bring on the ducks and warm weather!

I'm going to start spring cleaning this week. I love that when I decide to spring clean the temperature outside suddenly plummets. Oh well, it needs to be done. I'm excited about a lot of things that the spring will bring, cupcakes and fried okra for my birthday, vacation, my garden, my mom's garden, flea market trips, and bare legs to name a few.

I'm glad I have most of the week off. I just got off a three in a row work week and let me tell you, though my mind didn't feel overly tired, my feet told me that I had been on them far too much in the past 72 hours. So, last night, when I got home, I popped some Tylenol pm and drifted soundly to sleep, which didn't end until 11:15 this morning.

I'm excited about the week to come. Here's past news from last week that I didn't share with you guys.

• I met another Nola. I have never (besides my great-grandmother) met someone with my name. This definitely made me happy.
• I have a couple of things that are weighing heavy on my mind. I'll post more about it when I'm not so tired. They are actually positive things that are hard choices. I need to have lunch with my friend, Lori. If you are reading this, email or call me! She's a slightly older and wiser version of me. It's like going to my future self and asking what I think.
• One of my patients thought she had miscarried. I told her to stay positive and then said silent prayers and kept checking for her blood work until it showed, she was, in fact, still pregnant. I then let out my held breath. It was a good day to be a nurse. It made my biological clock start ticking. I actually talked to her about it. She kind of felt like a friend when she left.
• I watch American Idol. There, I said it. America, what is wrong with you? I guess I shouldn't complain, since I didn't vote.
• I heard "Imma Be" about a zillion times this week. I'm not going to lie. I love it! It makes me want to dance. It's a definite add to my cleaning or exercise play list, which I plan on making this week. Ah, another little known fact about me, I love to clean to heavy music. My love of Sevendust, Pantera, and Killswitch Engage really comes out. I really scrub during angry music!

I have another way of unveiling the week besides these little bullet points. I'm going to unveil it next week. I'm super excited about it. Now, I must focus my attention on my unread Google account, which has 300 entries. So, happy reading to me!

You oughta know

Since I divulged my wonderland in the last post, I figure, I might as well give it all up to you. Don't you feel special? Actually, I saw another post and thought that it seemed kind of fun. There should be no secrets among friends, right?

25 Things You May or May Not Know About Me

1. My favorite color as a child was yellow, not because I loved it, though I did like it, but because I felt sorry for yellow because most of my friends did not like it. Everyone deserves to be a favorite. Yellow and I now have an open relationship, so I'm quit smitten with green too.
2. I used to write a mean poem. I mean, most of it was angry, but I'm very proud of it. I think it's quite good for a teenager. Maybe I'll post one some day. You'll probably stare at the screen, blinking, while thinking, "How messed up was she?" That road brought me to here.
3. Speaking of poetry, I do not like rhyming poetry type cards. Trying too hard, much? It actually does the opposite for me and seems heartless. I wish there were more cards out there that just stated things like "You are a Rockstar", "You Got This Man", "I'm happy you were born", etc, etc. Straight to the point, yet totally shows how much you mean to a person. I wish Hallmark would take some notes.
4. I cry at everything. I mean, I can barely watch anything with a personal or tragic story without bawling. You should see me watch Biggest Loser. It is not pretty. I'm an ugly crier too. When I watched "Monster's Ball" I was almost hyperventilating. Aaron was trying to calm me down. Halle Berry SO deserved that Oscar.
5. In the 7th grade, I had signs posted on my bedroom door that stated things like, "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle", "Conserve water", and "Only you can prevent forest fires". I would argue with my dad about how we were going to run out of water. He told me that I was a dumb ass (Nice, huh?). We just watched the documentary Water Wars. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. I was a smart twelve year old. I don't know why I forgot about this passion, but it's coming back, thus the expansion of recycling and concern about food. I need some poster board and markers to hang some signs on my door.
6. I've lost many loves in my life. Shannon Hoon, River Phoenix, and Kurt Cobain to name a few. Of course, it was one-sided love. I was going to marry Shannon Hoon. Mr. O is lucky that tragedy struck.
7. For my third birthday party, I couldn't decide between Spiderman and Strawberry Shortcake, so my birthday party was done in both. I think that birthday shows my balance between between male and female, though I tend to teeter toward girly things now. I will never play sports either. That's for you, Mr. O.
8. I sit and read through cookbooks like they are actual story books. I also have like 60 and this is after getting rid of some at our last garage sale.
9. I really want to play the guitar. I've taken lessons from my cousin before and it really didn't work out. This is a goal that I will one day accomplish. My brother can play the guitar and drums by ear and it kills me. I must have a musical bone somewhere in my body, if he is that talented. We have DNA in common!
10. For the first time in years, I appreciate my body. It has something to do with my 30s. I'm telling you, something happens when you cross that threshold. I will own my bathing suit this year.
11. I buy a lot of books, but never getting around to reading them. One day I will though. I already have books for my child that isn't even born yet.
12. In the fourth or fifth grade there was a writing contest at my school and you had to write and make a book, including illustrations. I wrote about a serial killer who used nursery rhymes as the set up for his crime scenes. Yes, my book had dead bodies. I was obsessed with Nancy Drew, the television show Hunter, and Stephen King books. Needless to say, I did not win. I'm surprised that I didn't have to go to counseling.
13. When I played with my Barbies, Ken and Barbie were always boyfriend and girlfriend. They were never married. Ken got kicked out of Barbie's house (yes, she owned the house) all the time.
14. One of my fondest memories of my entire life is staying up until 3:00 A.M. one night with my grandmother playing Super Mario Brothers. It makes my heart swell.
15. I am named after my great-grandmother, Eva Nola. If Aaron and I have a daughter, she will be named and called Nola. It really is a beautiful and unique name. I already have nicknames that I can call her too. My mom still calls me Nolie. My grandmother called me Nola Rissa Ray and Nola Nay.
16. My shoe infatuation started because my mother bought me jellies in every single color. I probably had 20 pairs of shoes at 8 years old. See, it's not my fault! Every girl needs options.
17. On my first date with Aaron, I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder on the way home. Now, it may of had something to do with alcohol, but I felt like I had known him for years after one night. He is also the only guy I kissed on the first date.
18. I am obsessed with binders. I have a decorating binder, a fashion binder, a binder with sections for household tips, party decorating, and takeout menus, and multiple recipe binders.
19. I had an imaginary friend named Mrs. Nobody when I was around three years old. I vividly remember opening the door at my bio dad's house and telling her goodbye and then telling everyone that her kids needed her, so she had to go. I could not make this stuff up. Children's minds are fascinating.
20. When Aaron and I met, I had changed my major from pre-med and was studying biology with the plans to go on and do forensics. I told you I loved a good mystery and detective story!
21. I really wish I could hip-hop dance. All that popping and locking is amazing! Instead, I watch So You Think You Can Dance and dream.
22. I love foreign films. If you like them, check out He loves me, He loves me not, The Princess and the Warrior, and Run Lola Run. I love Amelie too, but I'm sure most of you have seen it.
23. I set my alarm clock at weird times. I always have as far back as I can remember. You may find me getting up at 4:12, 6:28 or 8:36. Don't ask, but I'd rather get up at one of those times instead of 4:15, 6:30 or 8:45.
24. I know I have said that I have a great memory, but you may not know that I hold on to some of the most random things, like the Gettysburg Address from when I was 10 years old. Fore score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. I'm not sure if it's exactly right, but that's still in my head. Also, for having a good memory, I don't remember movies, even the ones that I've seen a million times. I can not quote them to you like some people can. That may be why I like watching movies over and over again. They don't get old when you don't really remember them.
25. I love antiques. I can spend hours in antique stores. I think it's because I used to go with my grandmother to work (she worked at antique store). I walked around all day and each time around I would discover something new that I hadn't seen before.

I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

Yes, I'm fond (*cough* addicted) to many things, kitchen items, cooking, recipes, learning new things, horror films and playing scrabble to name a few. You've all seen my many posts on thrifting. If you saw my google reader account, you would see my numerous subscriptions to fashion blogs. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm addicted to everything about fashion. I love purses, shoes, belts, jewelry, and, my most favorite, clothes. I seriously have a problem. The good thing is that I'm thrifty, so they do not always cost an arm and a leg, but if you had a combined total...I don't even want to know. Suddenly, I feel sick.

I don't think you can get the real magnitude of the situation until you have seen my closet. One day I'm afraid I will walk into my bedroom to see all my clothes spewed out of the closet. It's borderline at capacity. It's getting ridiculous. I'm seriously thinking of kicking Aaron out, even though, I take up most of it anyway.

Next week, I'm planning on tackling my closet. It's spring cleaning week in the O house! I'm trying to do it objectively and to really thin it out; however, I'm not going to get rid of pieces that I know I'm going to wear or that I will regret. I just have to keep in mind that the money at a garage sale that I can make off my clothing will equal more fun in Florida for us.

So, to really get the point across, I'm posting pictures of my closet, which is one of my most intimate spaces. Before you judge the shear magnitude of my problem, notice that the right side is color-coded and in order of longest sleeve length to shortest and longest skirt/shorts to shortest skirt/shorts. The left-side is done from longest-sleeve length dresses to no sleeve dresses, middle is scrubs, and my pants are color-coded too. If it doesn't look that bad to you, keep in mind that those shoes on the right go three rows deep and I have some stacked two or three high. I have small feet, so I can get away with it! Plus, you can't see my belts or the stack lying outside of the closet door. Nor are you aware that I have clothing in the dryer while I type. I don't think the pictures make it seem that bad at all. You should step inside. It's like being the shruken version of Alice. My closet is my wonderland.

Yes, I am accountable

I thought it was time for a recap of my goals for the year. I think an update here and there is the only way to keep myself accountable for them. I'm actually impressed with my progress. Most of it has seemed to come without much effort. As I tried to tell Mr. O, I truly believe in positive thinking and "putting things out" in the universe. There are too many coincidences, if you will, for me not to believe it. It's really an amazing place to live and breathe. Okay, stop rolling your eyes and take another look at the goals.

Goal #1: Run at least one 5k with my husband. Okay, no we haven't ran a 5k yet, but we have started walking our neighborhood again. We have a 2+ mile loop that we used to walk and jog multiple times a week. It feels good to get back to this. We were going to run a 5k this month, but, unfortunately, I now have to work. There will be one soon. Hopefully, before summer takes hold of Tennessee.

Goal #2: Read at least 25 books this year. Well, this is one goal that has kind of stalled. I've still only read the two books from January. I've been trying to read a book that someone lent me for over a month. I'm just not that into it. I hate starting a book and then stopping it. I have stopped mid book or even 100 pages from the end (Shout out to Twilight). I think I may just pick another book. I'm in a reading mood today, actually. I may catch some rays on the deck this afternoon and read. I need some vitamin D too. Have you been outside? It's amazing!

Goal #3: Be a more healthy me. If any of my goals are going to be completely accomplished, it will definitely be this one. I've switched over to mostly organic food. Aaron and I have started walking again. I've been avoiding fast food like the plague. I've lost 5 pounds. Unfortunately, it's in my boobs. Sorry, Mr. O. I've been making healthier choices, like organic yogurt with granola, fresh veggies, tons of fruit, hummus and veggie wraps, and salad after salad. It has been delicious. I feel awesome. This one is easy to keep up.

Goal #4: Expand our recycling. Check. I'm actually going to go buy some bins today. I have some rinsed cans sitting on my counter awaiting a new home. I've decided to do cans and plastic. So, I'm officially recycling plastic, paper, cardboard and cans. The funny thing is our trash collection company is now offering a recycling bin. I was so excited when I saw this, but after a discussion with Mr. O, I think I'll save the $8 a month and drive 5 miles down the road to the recycling drop off and get a little extra exercise in at the same time.

Goal #5: Keep up with blogging. Today is post number 25, which is the total number of posts of last year. Woot! I'm definitely keeping up.

Goal #6: Take a vacation more than once. One vacation planned! We are going on a trip with my family to Grayton Beach, Florida at the end of the summer! I am so stoked about it. Aaron and I are going to go to Atlanta one weekend too. Right now, I've been working almost every weekend. I hate it, but for now it's what I have to do. One day I won't be the nurse at the bottom of the totem pole. That's two trips, my friends. I hope there are more too.

Goal #7: See my family more. I'm making time for this. I went to see my sister's new house on a Thursday night. I figure now that I'm working a lot of weekends, then I have to make more of effort during the week. It's not always feasible for them, but when it is, I plan on going to see them. I saw my mom this weekend and Aaron's sister came over and hung out most of the day with us on Saturday. I love my family.

Goal #8: To not be so hard on myself. Okay, this one is a work in progress. I did tell myself to get over myself not to long ago. Now that might sound harsh, but I actually was being hard on myself, so it was kind of like telling myself to knock it off. I am trying to stay aware of this one, so that I can stop before I make myself feel completely bad about something. This one is by far the hardest goal for me.

Goal #9: To give more to others. I'm working on this one too. I think I am already a giving person, so this one might be the easiest goal, but I'm going to figure out a way to make it more of a goal. I already do some things, so to count them toward the goal really isn't right. I'll figure out how this one will pan out. I still have 10 months to find the solution.

The truth hurts

I felt really badly about what I typed in my last post. As soon as I posted it, I came up with points that would make someone coming into the ER with a stomach bug okay. As for instance, they don't have insurance, are a scared mother over a child, or blacked out (um, syncope for the experts out there) at some point. So, I got it off my chest, but now I take some of it back.

I really need to work on my guilt trips on myself. Geez, give it a rest already. I'm pretty sure I was probably a 1 year old thinking in my head, "You peed in your diaper again. Way to go, genius!" It's seriously that bad.

Today was a good day. I had lunch with some lovely lady friends. I went to a couple of Goodwills in search of some plates and a piece of artwork or frame to add to my collage. Score on the artwork! I found a perfect round wooden frame with a bird painting/drawing in it. I'm going to post the collage soon. All it lacks is the art project that I still need to finish and figure out. Wow, look who's crafty!

Several odd things happened, in particular order:

• A creepy guy at the Farmer's Market was staring at me the entire time he sat beside our table. I mean, blatantly staring me up and down. It was creepy. I was glad when he finished his food and left.
• A teen-aged boy driving through our neighborhood was blasting a rap song that said bitch at least three times as he drove by me. I see why no girlfriend was present in his passenger seat. His parents must be so proud!
• I saw a microwave cookbook today. I mean, seriously. A cookbook on how to microwave. What is the world coming to? I could feel the embarrassment oozing from the book as it was surrounded by books where actual cooking was involved.

Ani Difranco is tomorrow! I'm so freaking excited. That might be my next post! Until tomorrow, lovelies!

These are the days of my life

I don't write things about work here very often. You know, HIPPA and all those rules and regulations. I will say that last night in the ER we earned every cent of what we get paid. It was the busiest day to date, I think. It wasn't the usual, cough and congestion, I think I have the flu, or I've been throwing up for two hours.* Our patients were sick, really sick. We ran out of rooms after opening up our two fast-track areas, which is where we usually send the less sick people and we usually only open one of the two, which hold an extra 8 rooms. Not to mention, they made rooms out of places that weren't rooms and had people in the hallways. We actually had to call someone else in to help us. When I left around 3:30 AM, thirty minutes later than I was supposed to, we finally had a few open rooms. I actually said a prayer for my co-workers as I was driving home. I have never been so tired. When I got home, I crawled into my bed, pulled the cover of my head, and slept and slept some more.

In other news, worked on my fitness today. Aaron and I went walking around our neighborhood. It felt great! I see more of that in our future. After our walk, I made Yakisoba. It was delicious! It's definitely a repeat recipe. I have so many repeat recipes that I don't repeat them until at least a month has gone by (<---grammar error). I prefer it that way though.

Now, while the rest of the house is sleeping, I am catching up on Oprah, Hoarders, and Dr. Oz. Oh, and some magazines and updating my calendar, my fashion binder, and my decorating binder. Good grief, I am a dork. I don't deny it though.

Tomorrow holds some exciting things: a gyenecologist appointment, a Publix trip, a recycling drop-off, and a Wal-Mart trip. I know, I can hardly contain my excitment.

*Sidenote-I don't understand why people come into an emergency room after only vomiting a few times or for having a cold. There isn't much we can do besides give you fluids and some nausea medicine, that may or may not work or tell you to take over the counter cough syrup. I've probably told you at one time or another about having the flu when I was 15 years old. I vomited multiple times, had diarrhea, a fever of 104.5, and became so weak that I couldn't even walk to the bathroom, I had to crawl. I lost 12 pounds and was almost hospitalized after my mom finally took me to the doctor after a week. Now, I'm not saying wait until this point, especially if it's a child or an elderly person, but it's ridiculous to come to the emergency room after having a cough for a day or throwing up two times. Seriously. Of course, if it's associated with a lot of pain or you just feel like something is really wrong, then come in, but just know that I am way nicer than a lot of the other nurses, and even I have a hard time having sympathy for these patients. All I'm saying is that our grandparents and ancestors are saying, "Suck it up, you pansy-@ssed, spoiled brats. You're going to live."