Things motherhood has already taught me

1. I can shower and shave (maybe not the perfect shave job) and be completely clean in ten minutes tops.  Hey, when ten minutes is all you have, then you (in the words of Tim Gunn) make it work!
2. Make-up is no longer a requirement, but merely a suggestion.  So far, no one has screamed when they have seen my unmade up face out and about.  Now mind you, I will still have a decent outfit on.  No mom jeans for this girl.  Hells to the no.
3. I can eat my entire dinner with one hand.  Sometimes it's my right (dominant) hand and sometimes it's with my left hand.  Who knew I was ambidextrous this whole time?
4. I only thought I was multi-tasking before.  Um, I'm feeding the baby while I type this.  I'm trying to figure out how to get everything done.  It is a challenge.  Housework is going to be a........to fit in.
5. When I have showered, eaten, and had a nap, I feel like I am king queen of the world.  Yes, that was a sad reference to the Titantic.  Might I add that I've never seen this movie in it's entirety.  Do you remember dating and "watching" a movie?   Yeah, this is one that I "watched" with a date. For the record, I've never seen Forrest Gump either.  How unamerican is that!?
6. I owe Fisher Price big time for saving my sanity up to this point.  Baby girl, does not want to be put down, but she'll sit here for about an hour and she'll stop crying and will sometimes fall asleep to this.  Fisher Price knows what kids/babies like. I'm hoping when she's a little bit bigger she will also love this.  Right now, it's just a-ight for her. For any expectant mothers out there, these are must haves!
7. Sex is all I can think about when I'm told I can't have it for six weeks.  Even sleep deprived and extremely tired, I am still a hormone-raging teen aged boy.  Yes, you guys wanted to know that.
8. Being spit up on, screamed (this child can wail!) at, woken up at all hours and pooped/peed on all goes out the window with one little smile and my gosh, those dimples.  There is no way that I'd let anyone else get away with what this child gets away with.
9. You will get peed on, numerous times regardless of how you think you won't and have diaper changing down. 
10. Huggies are not as good as Pampers.
11. You will allow things that you would never allow before.  The other day I looked down and realized I had poop on my arm.  I have no idea when it happened or how long it had been there, but I just shrugged my shoulders.  Normally, I would have been grossed out and would need to shower. 
12. Speaking of poop, breastfeeding poop is the best.  Seriously, hardly any smell.  You know, I'm a nurse, so I have had plenty of encounters with poop. I should know good poop when I see it.
13. If you have an iPhone, you should definitely have this app, if you have a newborn.  It keeps up with everything for you. We've had to go back and forth to the doctor and every time they want to know how long she's feeding and how many wet/dirty diapers she's having.  This app tells me everything!  I love it.  It was well worth the $5 price tag.  Plus, I can download any of the info into spreadsheets, if the doctor needs to see them.
14. Having my mother-in-law here, though it scared the crap out of me to think about beforehand, was a huge blessing.  Otherwise, my house would be shambles and I would have never eaten.  She constantly had food in my face to eat.  Now, I'm lucky if I eat two meals and one snack a day.  Letting someone help you is good a thing not a bad thing.  You can't do everything yourself.    Also, we ended up with this awesome drying mat, a new coffee grinder, yellow crib sheets, a new spatula, groceries for three weeks, a painted upstairs bathroom, and the curtain hung in the nursery.  Let's give it up to my in-laws.  They really know how to be spectacular guests!
15. Date nights are even better now.  We're going on another one on Wednesday night.  We're going to see Cirque du Soleil!  Also, I love my husband even more, if that's even possible because he pretty much rocked my world beforehand.  Maybe that's why the whole sex thing is driving both of us me crazy!
16. Four and half hours of consecutive sleep feels like 10 hours of premotherhood sleep.
17. Having the baby cry for a little bit will not kill them, especially if they are full, changed and should be content.  This is especially true if you are finishing up on something or doing something that makes you happy.  A happy momma equals a happy baby.  I'm glad I figured this out at the beginning.
18. My world is forever changed and will never be the same.  I will figure out a new routine eventually.  Things are slightly chaotic now, but I can deal with it and know that eventually it will get better.