Gender issues

Why can't women just get along?  Why are we the determent to our own gender?  It's so frustrating to have cattiness and gossiping at every job that I go too.  It's something that I will never get about my gender. 

When I was 18 years old and fresh out of high school, I began working at my mom's work with my best friend.  From the moment, or at least it seemed that way, we started working, we were targeted by all the women that worked there.  If we weren't getting written up for something we wore, then someone was saying we were slacking at our job.  My best friend (shout out to B!) was even accused of sleeping at her desk.  I mean, please.  Oh yeah, I was actually told that I wouldn't "always be this skinny" too.  Well, guess who got let go, when they downsized that department?  You got it, the two of us.

Flash forward to the oh-so-lucrative marketing job I had in my early twenties (Side note, I met Misty there!).  There were two marketing girls in the back, me and my friend, Kelly.  Well, it was us versus the front office girls on everything.  Did I mention that one of them was sleeping with my boss?  We again were accused of goofing off and of flirting with everyone.  We even got a lecture from the holier-than-thou front office girl telling us about how unlady like our actions were.  Excuse me, but have you seen my husband (then fiance)?  I had no reason to cheat or to encroach on their men.  The funny thing is that I could have sued that company for all the sexual harassment comments that I endured every day, especially from my married-and-cheating douchebag of a boss.  Sigh.  I ended up hating going to work every day and left that place.  Seriously, can't we all just get along?!

I even had a conversation, one-sided of course, with Nola the other day.  I was telling her how if she stayed this cute her whole life, she would have a really hard time with other girls.  I hate that for her.  As Ani Difranco's song states, "God forbid you be an ugly girl, 'course too pretty is also your doom, 'cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room."  Sadly, from my experiences with other girls, it's the truth.  Heck, look at me, I'm by far not even the prettiest girl, nor do I have the best things, and yet, I find this everyone place that I go. 

There are so many other times that this post could go on for days, but I'll spare you all.  I mean, my experiences in high school with girls, could have been this entire post.  I started thinking about this topic last night at work when I walked by two of my coworkers who were talking about me. Granted, I'm pretty sure they didn't think I could hear them. Not that makes it any better, but it clearly displays the problem I'm talking about it. It was over something small too, but this comes on the heels of my being lectured around a month ago from my assistant director, who technically is my boss, because someone told her I was breastfeeding for 30-45 minutes at a time, which is beyond ridiculous. That, my friends, is one of the reasons that I stopped pumping at work.  I didn't need to add fuel to that fire. 

Last night, I came home angry and with my feelings hurt.  It hurts every time this happens.  I'll never get used to it and I will never understand these things.  But, here is what I do know and fully understand.  I do my job and I do it well.  I'm nice to almost everyone and, if I problem with you, which I rarely have a problem with anyone, I just steer clear and act cordial.  You won't find me being overly nice to you.  I don't fake anything.  What I put out is me to a T.  I don't play games and I won't stab you in the back.  I don't want or need that kind of energy following me around.  I'm just as envious of a pretty girl or someone with a nice house, car, etc. as the next person, but I'm not going to belittle them or try to take them down for it.  Good for them.  I have more than enough things to be happy about than to try to destroy someone else's happiness.  Most importantly, I'm a grown ass woman. I acted five years old, when I was five years old.  I know right from wrong and act accordingly.  My mother raised me to be the best person possible, and I try hard every day to make her proud.

If you think this is a woe-is-me post, you've got it all wrong.  I hope it's more thought provoking than anything else.  After all, how can we ever be treated as an equal, when we knock ourselves down without anyone else having to try to?  For every step females move forward, we take two or three back with the actions above.  We owe the women in our past, who not only suffered, but fought hard for the things that we take advantage of, to get our shit together.  Girl power did exist at one time.  I'd like to bring it back.  Not only, for myself, but for the little girl that is sleeping soundly in her crib upstairs, who only knows love and happiness at this time.  She deserves it.  I think we owe it to each other to change things for our daughters.  And, we owe it to each other to change it for ourselves.