The dead zone

I'm at work right now.  Lucky for me, it's slow and I'm in triage.  I haven't checked in a patient in one hour and 30 minutes.  Seriously.   I'm not complaining though.  I hope tomorrow is like this too.  The only downfall is that I'm getting sleepy out here by myself.  Great, I see a car pulling in.  I think I just jinxed myself.

Anyway, until they come in, I've had some random things pop into my head lately that I've wanted to write, but haven't gotten a chance to do. 

Okay, back from checking them in.

First off, I was in the shower yesterday and I started hearing this buzzing noise.  I swear, the first thing that popped into my head was Supernatural and how spirits make tvs turn to static.  Geez, I need to pick up a hobby or something or stop watching Supernatural.  It turns out it was our hand held Yahtzee game.  It started buzzing like someone was "rolling".  It was like the key was hung and then I turned it off and beeped again a little bit later.  Maybe there was a spirit.  It's just like something my dad would do, only I was in the shower, with a clear shower curtain and that just makes the situation even weirder and gross.

Great.  Now someone is in the lobby telling someone on the phone that there is no one here.  Bring all your friends to the ER at 12:51.  You know, it's funny because people actually come to the ER together.  I mean, friends will ride together and come up here and check in together.  Seriously.  Next time I hang out with one of you let's just jump in the car and head to the nearest ER.  It'll be loads of fun.  We'll pee in cups, be stuck by needles, and hopefully, get a little radiation from X-rays.  Sounds like oodles of fun, right?  All I have to say is people are strange, man.

Moving on, I saw the cutest thing on one of the blogs I follow about bringing a book instead of a card to a baby shower.  Now, that is an awesome idea.  I mean, you throw cards away, but books will last fo' evs.  Plus, I'm nuts about books. 

Okay, so I didn't get to finish this last night.  I'm finishing it now at 2:12 AM.  Today work was a nightmare.  Yesterday may have been the dead zone, but today was a pay back for it.  I didn't get to eat..again.  I managed to eat a banana, some grapes and granola bar around 11:00 PM.  All I had before that was some scrambled eggs and two pieces of toasts.  Funny though, I didn't really notice any hunger because we were so slammed.  I just started feeling weird and disoriented, probably a dip in blood sugar, around 10:00 PM.  I'm good now.  Exhausted, but good.

Other things I was going to write last night was that I had one of the best compliments I think I could get from one of my patients this week.  She asked me how long I had been a nurse and I told her 10 months (actually, I think I may have said a year. I usually round up because it sounds better).  She said something along the lines, "Oh really, you don't seem intimidated by it all.  I would have never have guessed that.  I would think you had been doing it longer because you do it with such ease."  Wow.  That is awesome!

I have been craving a cheeseburger for days now.  Every time I drive by McDonald's, which is twice on my way from work, I think, "I could just stop and get one."  I have to remind myself that McDonald's=the devil.  I don't know why I like their sorry little hamburger so much.  I think a Five Guys burger would fix this craving for a while.

I had a patient take off her coat (she was a tiny little thing) and her mother, who shops on the plus side of the clothing store, said, "My gosh, you're so tiny."  The funny thing was is that it didn't sound like just a comment or a compliment.  It sounded straight up like jealousy and was in a snarky tone.  I was like, "Whaaaa..?"  Being a nurse is kind of like people watching only you get to interact.   I'll say it again, people are strange, man.

I find it very ironic that I have more confidence now more than ever.  My face looks straight up like I'm a fifteen year old.  I have never in my life broken out this badly.  I'm even starting to be persuaded by all the celebrities that "use" Proactive.  Okay, is it me, or are their before/after pictures ridiculous.  Wow, you have some tiny little bumps by your chin that were magnetized, so that we can actually see them.   Poor you, Jessica Simpson.  It must be so hard to be them.  Don't call me crater face next time you see me or I'll be forced to buy some.

I'm sure there was more, but I'm literally swaying because I'm so tired.  Time to rest my weary head.  I'm off for the next two days.  Woot!  Maybe you'll get a more exciting post than this and one that makes a little more sense. 

And it's over..

My five days off were fabulous.  I can't believe it's already over.  Of course, it does feel like I haven't been to work in forever.  Now, for the next five days, I have to work four of them.  It's called pay back for having all those days off.  Oh well.  I'm hoping for good steady, none emergent patients.  That's the days that fly by, but don't wear you out completely.

I bought a new journal and some new notebooks at Wal-Mart yesterday.  Aaron said that I'm the only person not in school that still loves school supplies.  Yes, yes I do.  I use them for certain purposes.  I'm excited to start my journaling for a year, at least.  Remember, that's on my list of things to do.  One of the other notebooks has a special purpose.  The other two, well I'm sure they'll be filled with lists, sketches, websites, etc.  That's how I roll with my notebooks.

I'm off to shower and eat some lunch before I head out.  Now which leftovers will I choose, portabella burgers with sauteed peppers and artichokes or Sweet potato and hominy soup.  Those are both delicious! 

Speaking of that, I haven't done a menu planning entry in a while, so here's what's on our menu for the next week. 

Last night:  Quite possibly the best meatloaf I've ever made, brussel sprouts, and green beans and potatoes.
Tonight:  Leftovers
Thursday:  Cheesy Zucchini and red onion flat bread and salad
Friday:  My farewell to summer meal:  Sloppy joes on Italian bread, potato salad and baked beans
Saturday:  Lunch, Mexican Quiche & Dinner, leftovers - I have to work
Sunday:  Lunch, Grown-up Grilled Cheese & Dinner, leftovers - I have to work
Monday:  depending on the leftovers status, Ratatouille with fried eggs on top - So delicious!
Tuesday:  Roasted Eggplant pizza & salad
Wednesday:  Leftovers
Thursday:  Turkey and Wild Rice Skillet

Happy weekend

This weekend has been positively lovely.  We had a double date with Aaron's sister and her new boyfriend on Friday night.  We went to dinner and went bowling.  It was a lot of fun.  He seems like a really good guy. 

The rest of the time has been spent with just Mr. O and me.  It has been fantastic.  We barely left the house.  Isn't that how the weekends are supposed to be spent?  We did a lot of lounging, played Scrabble four times, watched Date Night and Resident Evil 3D, ate ice cream, cuddled, went on a late evening walk, and just enjoyed each other's company.

We have to savor all this time together.  I don't think I've mentioned, but Mr. O is heading to electrical school next week, so that he can have the certificate to back his knowledge.  It will be weird having him gone two nights a week, but I usually work at least one of those days and may plan to make those two days the days I work during the week.  We'll see how it goes.

The roles will be reversed.  Now I'll be the one begging for him to put the books away and come hang out with me.  We're in it for the long haul too.  He'll be in school for four years.  We're hoping that he can go in the summers too to speed it up, but we will see. 

With a baby and Mr. O's school on the horizon, I'll savor every weekend like this weekend. I wish every one could be like this.  I'd be a very happy girl.    

Coveting thy neighbors things..

What I'm wanting right now:

Cane back dining chairs, not these.  I can't find what I want, but I thought this living room chair looked better than most of the dining chairs I could find.  I guess I'm going to have a hard time finding the ones in my head. 

Steve Madden knows how to make a boot.  Too bad these are $200.  I love them!

Cuteness!  I love Modcloth!

Not for me, of course.  This is the cutest thing ever!  Blablas has some cute things.  This is Prudence the Owl.

I want some kind of fake animal head.  The wooden ones are ridiculously expensive.  I like this one a lot.  It's made out of old book pages.

This is a rice cooker and a steamer.  I want it.

 

Ah, my birthday dinner this year.  I want a repeat.  If you haven't been to Wild Ginger in Cool Springs, you must go and soon!

I want one of these, but an O, of course!

I cannot wait until the Nashville Flea Market this month.  It's been so long, since I've been!

This is how many days I have off after my shift today!  I am definitely coveting days off!   

Oh, the horror!!

So, you're all dying to know what else happened on my mom's birthday.  Well, my mom's boyfriend, Michael, who you may remember from this post, took her out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel (my mom loves it), then he drove her out to the Inn at Evins Mills.  We sent them there to stay as a Christmas present a few years ago.  It is gorgeous out there.  I want to go, but it's not cheap to stay. 

Well, you can hike for free there and use their trails.  There are miles of trails, creeks, and waterfalls.  Well, they went hiking and they hiked down to the bottom of a big waterfall and he asked her to marry him.

I'm still trying to process this.  Granted, they have been dating for like six years.  I should have seen this coming, right?  He is just such a douchebag.  Ugh.

The only positive out of this is the ring.  It is gorgeous!  In fact, when my mom showed me the ring the only thing I could say was, "That ring is awesome!"  She called me the next day to ask me what I thought about him asking her and I said, "That ring is gorgeous!" and then promptly changed the subject.  I cannot lie to my momma, peeps.

I don't know what to say yet.  I know, I'll have to have a talk with her about it.  In fact, I have to talk to her about it.  It's very hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that she chooses assholes every time.  Every single stinking time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but he was a big ol' jerk.  I spent much of my time defending all of us, which landed me in trouble a lot.  He constantly put us down and called us names.  The day he called my mom a "stupid bitch!" and my brother, sister, and I "stupid dumb asses" when I was the only one there and they weren't there to defend themselves turned me into a stark-raving lunatic. No one calls my momma that!  I proceeded to say, "The only idiot in this house is you and you're redundant use of stupid and dumb," or something along those lines.  What followed was not pretty, partly because I know he didn't know what redundant meant and I proved my point.  I wonder why we all had self-esteem issues and self-hatred?

Now, he wasn't always that bad. He spent the last ten years of his life in a lot pain and very sick.  This is isn't a bashing of him, nor am I defending him either.  It's just to show the choices she makes in men.  It's mind boggling.  I know, my bio(logical) dad wasn't much better.  He was/is very emotionless, distant and had his own anger/pouting problem.  The funny thing is Michael reminds me a lot of him, even down to appearance, although, the bio dad is more handsome (shout out, to good genes).

The only thing I can figure is that growing up seeing my grandmother's choices in men, somehow led to this pattern.  Although, none of them have been alcoholics or physically abusive, the emotional abuse and the subservience is there. 

I'm sorry, but women were not put on this earth to bow down to men.  Hell-to-the-no!  I don't care what some churches preach. Times have changed and it is not the 1950's anymore.  I will never understand that mentality.  In fact, if a man really loves you, he wouldn't either.  It's ridiculous, not to mention chauvinistic and out-dated.

Well, looks like someone has some daddy issues. I thought about not publishing this because it's really personal and, obviously, opens up some wounds and so much anger. I figure, you've already heard about my uterus, so there isn't much left to hide from you.   I just don't get why some women choose the way that they choose.

Any advice, besides see a shrink?  Ultimately, I know it's her choice.  Luckily, they aren't getting married anytime soon.  Oh, and they are planning to have a small ceremony, in which, my mom wants me to help her plan it.  That is just fantastic. 

Fiesta Fifty!

Okay, so I have yet to write about how my mom's birthday party went.  It was great!  My mom said it was the best birthday that she has ever had in her entire life.  I say that is about the best compliment you can get on a party you throw.  Of course, she also had some other things that happened that day.  I'll have to dedicate another post on those things.

We ended up having around 22 people.  I did everything outside.  We had it catered from El Chico.  It was only $94, which I say is a heck of a lot cheaper than cooking for all those people.  The year I had the Christmas party we spent about $400, not all of it was food, but a good chunk of that was. I bought most of the decorations that year at the Dollar Store and Deals, so I know it wasn't the decor!

For the Fiesta, I got a few good ideas online and decorated everything myself.  I was so proud of the paper flowers I made.  I still have a bouquet on my kitchen table and my mom took one of them home too.  I totally should have made those at the showers I've hosted.  I never knew how, but now I do, so expect that if I ever throw another shower (hint:  B, have a baby!). 

I wish I had gotten better pictures of the decor, but the picture above and below are about the best I got.  Next time, I'll take pictures before the party gets going.

The food spread.

I made that cake plate for the Moms.  Isn't it lovely?  I'm thinking about making more of them, possibly even asking a friend to put them in her boutique.  They are so easy to make.  The hardest part is scouring to find pretty plates and candle holders.

The cake, that I ordered.  The cake came just plain white, which is what I asked for.  Each layer on the inside is a different color.  I decorated it with the flowers and the candles.  The cake actually had a crack in it, so I had to cover it up.  I was planning on doing that anyway though.  It was delicious!

The pinata time was hilarious.  My brother also bought the things to fill it.  Yes, there was candy, but he also put denture cream, enemas, and icy hot in it. 

My sister-in-law is so pretty.  Look past the moustache, but she doesn't wear any makeup.  She doesn't need it.  My brother looks so cute and mischievous too. 

Group stache pic.  We had a good time with those staches.

He makes my heart sing

I know, I blab on and on about how happy I am with just about everything in my life.  I also know, you must get sick of it.  Well, stop reading if it does, because this one may push you over the edge.  This is one is another ode to Mr. O.

I've been reflecting lately about how much my life changed when I met Aaron.  I've said it before, but he saved me.  I won't go into much detail, but I will say, I was not in a good place and was filled with so much self-hatred. He has done so many positive things for me, not to mention, he's easy on the eyes.  I love him so, so much. 

I know, I'm lucky too.  Lucky that we found each either in a world full of thousands of people.  People talk about soul mates.  He is mine.  There is no doubt about it.  I don't know if there is more than one person out there for each of us, but I  know, when you find one person that fits you so well, you are lucky.  I know it doesn't happen for some people and that makes me sad for them.  Everyone deserves this much love. 

I was recently asked how I knew that Aaron was the one.  Without just saying, I just knew, which I did, I thought of several things that made him different from all the other boys that had briefly appeared in my life.  On our first date, at one point, he was sitting on a chair and I was standing, half sitting in the chair too and his arms were around me.  I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder that night on the way home.  I also kissed him that night.  I never kissed anyone of the first date.  I don't give those away freely.  On our second date, we spent 13 hours together.  He called into work too.  We ate sushi for lunch, went Christmas shopping for his family, held hands, went to see a movie, ate dinner, then we went to his house where he wanted me to meet his mom.  Talk about nerve-wrecking, especially, since his lovely sister told me that she would hate me at first.

It's quite obvious how I knew.  I knew because I instantly felt like we had known each other for years.  I felt like he knew me, deep down to my soul.  I have never been that comfortable with someone so quickly.  If we could have moved into together that quickly, we probably would have after the second or third date.  We instead talked about it after two months of dating and actually did it six months after we talked about it.  I was in a state of euphoria.  I still think I am, but with a little more reality sprinkled in now.

If you know him, you know he's great, but here are some of things that make him so great to me.

• I'll feel him stare at me from across the room and I'll look at him and he'll smile and say, "I love you."  He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world on a daily basis.  He'll tell me how great I look when I haven't showered, have my hair in pony tail and have no make-up on.  Now that's love.
• He made me see what was in the mirror staring back at me for the first time.  I realized that it wasn't so bad.  He increased my self-esteem ten-fold by reintroducing myself to me.
• When he kisses me I still feel electricity run all the way down my body.  I hope that never ends.
• Lately, with all the Baby O talk, I see how great he'll be as a dad.  I've always known this, but to see how badly he wants this too just reaffirms this.  I also know this by my having a glass of red wine the other night and he was concerned that it would somehow affect our chances this month.  It was on (hopefully) ovulation day.  I was like, "No, we're good.  I can have this."  He'll probably have his own list of questions to ask my OB doc, which just makes him more endearing to me.
• He surprises me with little things, like the tie rack in our closet that he bought for me to hang my jewelry on, the shelves he put up in our closet to give me more storage, and, recently, a panini maker.  He used to bring home treats for me too, like gummy candy, pepsis, milkshakes, ice cream and other candy.  Of course, now that we don't drink soda and he knows I'm not supposed to eat tons of sugar, that has dwindled down, but that's okay.  He helps me stay on track when all I want to do is stick my head into our canister of sugar.
• I have a list of Things to Do that I left out on the kitchen table.  He added, "Love my husband endlessly" to the bottom of the list.  I discovered it today and it made me smile.  I can check that one off for sure.
• He is so intelligent.  He'll say he's not, but he it's definitely true.  He's mechanically minded.  It amazes me how he can look at something and just know how it works or figure it. He can fix anything.  He is an excellent Scrabble partner too.  He has an endless vocabulary.  Smart is sexy.
• He's pretty dang cute.  Do you see the pictures on this page?  Hello.  I'm lucky.
• He'll send me texts in the morning that say things like, "You alive, sunshine?" or "Good morning, bright eyes!"  It's that whole making me feel special thing.
• When I crawl into bed after he's fast asleep on most nights he will pull me close or put his hand on my hip or arm and let out a great big sigh, as if to say, "You're finally here."  He isn't awake either.  This is all in a sleeping state.  It makes me smile every time.
• He chose me to love him.  There are million of girls, but he chose me and hasn't looked back since.
• He makes me laugh every single day.  From silly dances and songs to jokes to laughing so hard at things that it makes me laugh.  He especially does the silly dances and songs, if he knows that I'm mad or sad.  It never fails to make me smile.
• He's my last first kiss.

There are so many more reasons.  Things that I can't even put into words.  I'm a very lucky girl.  I know we'll be married until death does us part.  There is no question about it.  It'll take a higher power to pull us apart. 

Now you guys can all go throw up.  I'll write about something less happy next. I have just the thing in mind.