Happy heart in February

How can the month of love not contain happy things?  Happy heart things in February:

.  eating cheeseburgers, fried pickles, and french fries for Valentine's Day dinner  .

.  successfully making Beouf Bourginon (it only took 4 hours)  .

.  taking my sweet nephew to his doctor's appt  .

.  lunch with my brother, mom, and sister  .

.  finding and buying the perfect (or almost) perfect ottoman for Nola's room  .

.  Urban Flats  .

.  going a month over and not getting a ticket for expired tags on my car  .

.  finding some deals at The Turnip Truck  .

.  brunch with two of my shower planners at Margot  .

.  snuggle time with Mr. O  .

.  getting my spring clean on..or at least starting it..slowly  .

.  lunches with multiple friends  .

.  seeing Gnomeo and Juliet with my niece and sister-in-law  .

.  Reece's white chocolate peanut butter eggs and Dr. Pepper  .

.  hearing Nola's heartbeat with my stethoscope at home  .

.  signing up for early enterance to consignment sale next month for being a first time mom  .

.  hearing about a friend's engagment and seeing the beautiful ring  .

.  Samoa Girl Scout cookies  .

.  a friend (finally) getting to share her joy about being pregnant with the world  .

.  registering at Babies R Us  .

.  finding footless white lace leggings for Nola  .

.  having patients finally start asking if I'm pregnant and people telling me that I finally look pregnant  .

. having Aaron talk to Nola only to have her kick like crazy...yep, already a daddy's girl  .

.  hanging out with B and D multiple times  .

.  making it through 14 hour work days and still loving my job at the end of the day  .

.  finding the perfect crib bumper and having my mother-in-law agree to make it  .

.  Jim from The Office in It's Complicated..so hilarious  .
.  spring like weather  .
.  frozen yogurt  .
.  The Cure  .
.  still being able to wear cute dresses from my non-pregnant days  .
.  rain boots for all the rain  .
.  new delicious recipes that took little effort  .

 

Finally, the perfect one

Found the perfect crib bumper..finally!  Of course, it's only $250 and that's just the bumper.  I found the fabric online and my mother-in-law agreed to make it.  I'm sure it'll be a lot less than $250.  I wish I had learned how to sew, so I could do my own sewing projects.  Maybe I'll learn one of these days. 

And, I found an ottoman at T.J. Maxx. It was only $80, compared to the one that I wanted that was $175.  I'll upload a picture of it later.  It's floral pattern, orange, pink, red, and purple.  Can you picture it?  It's better than you think.

Let's pretend for a moment

Hypothetically speaking, say there was this nurse who had to turn another nurse in for lack luster care (soiled patients, untreated high blood pressure, no recheck of vitals, fever of 103.7..you get the idea) of their patients.  Say the charge nurse went to the boss of the ER and was told, "Sometimes we need to turn a blind eye to certain situations."  Say that nurse, whose duties were neglected, also got promoted to a day shift position.

*crickets chirping*

Yeah, I would be speechless too.  If I was that nurse, who took up the slack, I would be questioning everything this point.  Turning a blind eye to patient care, when patient care is the main goal of your work.  Interesting.  Lesson to be learned:  things are not always as they appear and politics exist no matter where you work.

Yesterday, you are not far enough away

Work yesterday was stressful, nausea inducing, and exhausting.  We were slammed.  I worked over until 3:00 a.m.  I did not get a lunch break.  That's 14 hours.  I'm thinking that I'm beginning to understand why people told me to pick up extra shifts while I still could because there would come a point where I wouldn't want to do that anymore.  My feet, legs, lower back, and hips hurt so badly when I finally laid down that I couldn't fall asleep right away. 

You know, it's a bad day when I come home and shower at 3:00 a.m. because I feel gross and contaminated.  I apologized to the baby all the way home.  I barely felt her move yesterday, but, of course, I was a little too busy to notice.

Without violating too much patient information, here's what made yesterday the best day ever (in opposite land):

• Had a patient fall out of bed while trying to get up.  It ended in a very, very bad break of an arm.  I'm talking send-a-chill-down-your-back-obviously-jacked-up broken.  I almost threw up, not from seeing it (please, I live for that stuff), but from it happening at all.  I've only ever had to fill out one incident report.  Make this one the second one.
• Constant influx of patients with no breaks, although I did eat quickly when I started to feel faint and then felt sick from eating in under 10 minutes.
• taking over patients from another nurse to find them soiled, in need of a lot of things, and very, very sick.  If I had been the patients' families, I would have raised some hell up in that ER for the care my loved one received.  Luckily they were nice and I helped fixed the situation by staying over to ensure that they both got safely, cleanly, and in better physical shape up to their hospital rooms. 
• turning that nurse into my charge nurse.  If something would have had happened when I took them over, it would have been on my head.  No way.  I was livid, not for everything I had to do, but for the care they had received.  It's our job to do better than that.  I am still so mad when I think about it.  I seriously think it was worthy of getting fired over or at least getting a written note in a file or something.
• I was told that I'm not the only one that applied for the 7a-7p job, which means, I'm probably low man on the totem pole again and won't get it.  She did tell me that no decision had been made final yet.  I wanted to cry.  They know how badly I want to it, so maybe it'll happen before I come back from maternity leave.

Things that made yesterday a little better:

• My day shift charge nurse, who was also my preceptor, asked me to come over to her for a second yesterday during the chaos.  She marched me over to my boss, put her arm around me and proceeded to say, "Do you know how hard this baby girl works?  She works her self to death and never complains.  I love her for it."  Then she kissed me on the head and hugged me.  Seriously.  That's a pretty good compliment.  My face turned five-shades of red.  My night-time charge nurse met with my boss this morning and I believe she may have said some nice things about me too.  See, they should pick me for the 7a-7p job. They won't be disappointed. 
• One of my patients told me that I was the best nurse he'd ever had in his whole (27 years) of life.  I think he may have been flirting, but I'll take it.  I guess I still don't look that pregnant. :)
• Two of the most adorable babies flashing huge smiles at me, even after I flu swabbed one of them.  How quickly they forget the discomfort.
• Working in the fast track area with one of my favorite PAs.
• Knowing that I had today off.

Picture it, Sicily 1945

Any avid Golden Girl fans pick up on that reference?  Ah, Golden Girls one of my favorite shows when I was a kid, along with other favorites: Wheat Chex cereal, (kid) coffee, antique shopping and reading in a flannel nightgown in bed at night before I fell asleep.  What can I say, I spent a lot of time with my grandmothers...and maybe I was a 50 year old trapped in a 8 year old body.

No, seriously, picture this nursery.  It is so beautiful (in my head).

I found the perfect ottoman.  I NEED it (said in a eight year old whining way with a stomp at the end).

Yes, that ottoman with this chair, which I don't have to dream about because it's mine.

With this pillow and one of these dolls seated comfortably on said chair.

This bedding, which I don't love, but I'm about to give up on finding what I want because it seems impossible.  It's too bad that I don't sew.  I may take a look at Etsy though.  I really just need a bumper and bed skirt.

This crib

an N like this above the crib

 Two of these pics framing the N

On the ceiling, instead of a mobile, something similar to this (the pom poms and paper lanterns) in matching colors of the room.

I really wanted yellow and white chevron curtains, but I'm not having any luck.  Those might be something that I get one of my sister-in-laws to make for me because they are awesome like that.  I may go with another color, since the crib will hopefully be yellow.  We shall see.

Oh yeah, the walls are the color behind the bookcase in this picture.

In about two weeks or so, my mom's boyfriend is coming over, so that he and Aaron can fix, clean up, and move into the house this dresser/changing station we purchased at the flea market last year.

I like a good plan and I think I have one.  I must get busy.  I only have 98 days left in this pregnancy.  It has been a blur.  

The day of love

Forgive the last entry.  I had meant to post it this weekend and ended up getting sidetracked and forgetting about it. 

Today is love day!  I know what people say about it only being a holiday made by greeting card companies.  My husband is among those less than thrilled about it.  However, I think I've brought him over to my side over the years.  After all, this is our 11th Valentine's Day together. 

We spent Friday night celebrating with B & D at Burger Up followed by Sweet CeCe's.  I mean, nothing says Happy Valentine's Day like burgers, fries, fried pickles and frozen yogurt.  It was actually my idea.  I love some cheeseburgers and mine was delicious.  We have eaten with B & D for Valentine's Day for at least 6 or 7 years out of the 11.  I always look forward to it.

This morning, I left out a small little token of my love for Aaron.  We agreed not to get each other gifts and to just go to dinner, but I can't give up the opportunity for some small little gift.  I bought Mr. O some apple fritters for his breakfast (he loves those), a pack of his favorite chewing gum, a red bull (yuck), a candy bar, and a gift card to Starbuck's.  I also left him a note telling him to rush home to me tonight. 

Tonight, I'm conquering a master chef's recipe, Miss Julia Child's Boeuf Bourginon.  Yeah, I'll be in the kitchen for much of the afternoon/early evening, but it will so be worth it.  I'm also making a salad, sauteing some peas, and making mixed berry cobbler with vanilla ice cream.  Happy Valentine's Day to us!

So, don't be a dick today.  Seriously.  Don't moan and groan over what you don't have or what you wished you had or the fact that you may be single.  There is love in your life.  What's wrong with one day to tell someone that you love them.  With as much as we have going on in our lives, we need a day set aside to just appreciate something as simple and as great as love.  Who cares if Hallmark is behind it?  For the most part, it seems like people are happier on Valentine's Day, so what is wrong with that.  I'll take any day where people are in better moods.

Call your mama, hug your spouse, child or dog or treat yourself to something fabulous.  For one day, just let there be love.  After all, it is all we need.  I had to throw something cheesy in. 

By the way, I love my husband 365 days a year, not just today.  I told him that when I talked to him this morning.  I am grateful and love my friends and family ALL 365 days. I am just reminded today how much love is in my life.  If you need a Valentine, I'm already yours.  Hope you all have a great one!

I couldn't have said it better myself

Even though, I have no idea what it will be like to be a mother, I completely feel like Elaine, known as MamaQ from Wasabi Mama, took words out of my mouth when she was featured on Rockstar Diaries recently. 

Not to say those of you who had no problems conceiving, don't feel the same way, but when you struggle for years to have something that you want to so badly, only to have your body defy you time and time again and to be slapped in the face by a stick you pee on more times than you care to admit, when it finally happens, it is a miracle.  It's surreal.  You almost don't believe it's true. 

When you work in a job where you have to try to put a catheter in a 2 month old and, afterwards, the child is laying on the bed screaming and her mother is too busy texting to pick the child up, so one of us (the nurses) pick her up as we stare at each other in bewilderment with is-this-really-happening looks or when I'm holding your child's hand because you can't stand to see your child in pain, so you excuse yourself while three of us hold your four year-old down and stick needles into her as she yells for her mama and stares into my eyes with tears pouring down her cheeks and I keep holding her hand and reassuring her that it will be over soon and that her mama will be there soon or when you have to IV a 9 month old who has been vomiting and had diarrhea for 5 days and is so dehydrated that no veins are present and multiple sticks ensue and it isn't even the parents that bring him, it's the aunt and the parents ask you how their child could be this dehydrated, it makes you want to scream, "Are you freaking kidding me!?"   It makes it hard not to get angry that these women get to be mothers, but you don't.  It makes you question what kind of mother you are going to be because, obviously, it must be a really horrible one or it would have happened by now.

I'm sorry, if I've been mushy lately and I really don't want to talk all baby things all the time, but forgive me for the time being because it finally did happen.  I am pregnant.  I'm still in disbelief six months into this.  Sometimes, I'll just stop and look at Aaron and say, "We're having a baby," or "I'm really pregnant."  He'll do the same thing to me.  It's so mind blowing.  Sometimes, I'll glance at the mirror and have a kind of out-of-body experience, like is that really me. Now, that my belly is expanding and there is no denying that some little person is in there.

So, I'll take the vomiting, the screaming, the crying, and all the good things that are sprinkled in between.  I'm looking forward to every experience, whether good or bad, of raising this child.  I have years of practice with nieces and nephews, my best friend and love of my life by my side, tons of friends and family full of advice to offer me and the power to choose whether or not to take it. 

I am ready for this.  I have been ready for this for a long time.  May 25 could not get here soon enough.

Happy January Things

Yet another month is approaching it's end.  January was yet another happy filled month.  Here's the run down of all the warmth it bestowed on my heart.  Next up, the month of love!

.  my sister getting good news about her pregnancy  .
.  no cavities at the dentist .
.  lunch with Lori (love her!)  .
.  my own good doctor's appt  .
.  still wearing my own clothes for the most part. woot!  .
.  coffee and catching up with Angie  .
.  finding out that I get a new and much better schedule  .
.  getting great mother advice from my friend, Christy, and hanging out with her sweet boys  .
.  Liz Phair  .
.  having a loving husband that will come and pick me up from work at 1:00 a.m. when it snows  .
.  having a great boss that was willing to come get me for work in the snow  .
.  establishing not one, not two, but three baby shower dates  (thanks to my wonderful friends and aunt)  .
.  getting a new-to-us rocking chair from Craigslist  .
.  celebrating my nephew's, Logan's, 9th birthday  .
.  dinner and gift exchanging with B & D..finally  .
.  dr. pepper and reese's peanut butter cups  .
.  Old Navy clearance deals on baby and maternity clothes  .
.  establishing our sweet baby's name  .
.  caring nephews that want baby girl toys around  .
.  Aaron getting side jobs to ease his mind some about all the chedda babies cost   .
.  cheeseburgers and fries  .
.  Sophie's injury to her foot not being as bad as we thought  .
.  cuddle mornings laying in bed for hours with Mr. O  .
.  finally taking down all the Christmas decorations  .
.  free maternity clothes  .
.  date days spent ordering in and staying in pajamas  .