Late nights all alone

Yep, a bunch of late nights all alone.  At first, the idea of nights alone are fun.  You can do what you want and watch what you want and not have to answer to anyone.  Take for instance, now, I'm watching Julie and Julia.  Love that movie.  I would have loved to have hung out with Julia Child.  I think, if having to chose five people dead or alive to have to a dinner party, I would definitely chose Julia. I think I would even have Johnny Depp offer up his chair to her. 

So, the thing about nights alone are that you are all alone.  I get quite lonely actually.  I read all my blogs, write a blog occasionally (expect more entries), read a book, write menus, read magazines, and so on until I utterly have nothing to do.  Keep in mind that I can't do anything that really makes a lot of noise because I'm awake in a house full of sleeping people.

Now, don't get me wrong.  You can find me on occasion longingly thinking of the things that I will do in a few hours when everyone is asleep, but for the most part, when I'm not running around having lunches or doing errands, I spend much of my days off by myself too.  That's a lot of time to spend with one person. 

Now, this isn't a pity me entry.  I'm just sad about the fact that for the next three days I will work, which means I will get to see my husband for a few hours before I go to work on Sunday and then not until Monday evening, when he gets home from work.  We will be two sleeping bodies beside each other all weekend. 

I've had to come to terms with this before when I worked mostly night and mid-shifts.  Well, my mind has seemed to erase those terms.  I've had a sense of pending doom, since I realized, after my orientation, I would really have to work 1:00 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. 

My blog is a place of honesty.  After all, most of what I write flows from my head through my fingers and out without any editing at all most of the time.  You will find virtually no filter here.  Well then, to be honest I was a crying a mess when I first had to adjust to working odd hours.  I missed Aaron and quite frankly, got sick of hanging out with just me late at night.  Well, I haven't cried, yet, but as I type this, I have a lump of self-pity in my throat.

I've come to realize a few things over the past seven months.  The first being that my husband really is a huge piece of my world and I need him a lot more than he needs me.  Secondly, a nurse's schedule isn't all that it's cracked up to be.  And lastly, I hate being the new girl and readjusting to a new environment.

Okay, enough with the pity party.  Back to my movie and cuddling on the couch with myself.