These are the days of my life

Here are the reasons that my brain cells have committed suicide, since I've been on maternity leave:

.  Toddlers & Tiaras  .

.  America's Next Top Model  .

.  19 Kids & Counting  .

.  Grey's Anatomy  .

.  Cold Case Files  .

.  Chopped  .

.  The Game Show Network  .

.  House Hunters  .

.  My First Place  .

. Property Virgins  .

.  Food Truck Race  .

.  What Not to Wear  .

.  Mystery Diagnosis  .

.  Trauma: Life in the ER  .

.  Millionaire Matchmaker  .

I really need to pick up a book or something.  On the plus side, I have learned the following things:

• I know what a flipper is.  I am not proud of this.
• I'm pretty good at Lingo, Family Feud, and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
• Home inspections are a must when shopping for a house.
• How to smile with my eyes.  Thanks, Tyra!
• How to kill someone and almost get a way with it.  
• Birth control is a good thing.
• When looking through your pantry, don't underestimate what your lack of groceries can make.  You can be a McGyver in your kitchen. 
• How not to do CPR, if you want someone to live.  Thank you, Grey's Anatomy! 
• First time home buyers think they can have the world on a limited budget.
• If I were a millionaire, I'd find my own damn date.
• Multiple diseases that I will probably never see, but I'll be prepared if I do!
• Stacey and Clinton are saving the world, one person at a time.

Speaking of really bad television, here's a conversation I had with my nephew, Hayden, recently:

Hayden (to Nola):  You better not get pregnant when you are sixteen.

Me to Nola:  Yeah, listen to your cousin. 

Me to Hayden:  Why in the world would you say that?

Hayden:  You know, like the show, Sixteen and Pregnant.

Me:  Oh. You watch that show? 

Hayden:  Sometimes.

Hayden:  Have you seen the one where they are pregnant in prison.  That one is pretty good too.

Me (in my head):  Must talk to my sister about this ASAP.