Odds and ends

Okay, so Cycle 2 is a go.  This time I get to give myself an injection in my stomach.  So, so fun.  Now, mum's the word from here on out, even if you bug me and try to get it out of me, Esther.  Like I said, it feels better this time around, I don't know why.

I'm off to work today.  Boo.  I'm already so tired from getting up early to go to the doctor's appointment.  I guess the good thing about going in at 1:00 pm is that you can still get stuff done before going in, but I guarantee that I will paying for it later, say, at, oh, 1:00 am when I'm driving home.

Speaking of work, there is nothing like answering a patient's call light to find them in cardiac arrest and in a full code.  That happened to me last week.  It was not awesome.  Let's just say it was not what I was expecting.  I was expecting more of "Can I get something to drink?"  You know, the usual.

My house is so neat and orderly and clean.  I have missed it so.  I've already started to notice a difference in all aspects of being just the two of us again.  As for instance, our grocery bill last night was only $131.  That should last almost two weeks. Word!  That's a heck of  a lot less.  My house feels like my home again.  I'm in love with it.  There as been more cuddling, being together, and other fun things.  Mr. O even went to the grocery with me last night.  I know, craziness.  He said he just wanted to spend time with me.  I love my husband immensely too.  I'm just so in love with my life right now.  I'd make myself sick, if I wasn't so dang happy!

Shout out to Misty!  Her first day back at school is today.  I know she's going to be amazing.  I've already warned her to leave those little boys alone. I'm so happy for her that I can't stand it.  I love to see someone following their dreams.  That's what life is all about, after all. 

Okay, so I know this is random.  My mind is racing.  I still have to update about my mom's party, which was a success!  Also, I have to do my Happy things in August.  Maybe I'll get a chance later tonight, if I'm in triage.  If not, then I guess I'll get to it tomorrow.

Hope you are all having a lovely Tuesday.  I'm off to save people's lives!  Word.  Let's hope I just cure some coughs and ailments today.  That would be better for me.

It's a coming...

Does it not feel awesome outside in the mornings now?  I have no excuse not to start walking/running again.  I'm actually pretty excited about it.  I have hated the heat this summer.  I was just getting good at running and the heat took it away.  Kudos to those of you that still ran.  Yes, I'm talking to you, Ashley, Esther, and Beaz.  I just couldn't do it.

I've been planning my Mom's 50th birthday celebration, which is going to be on Saturday.  Does my mom not look fabulous for 50? Seriously!  I should have posted a picture of her in her bikini from vacation.  She look good.  We have around 22 people coming over on Saturday.  We're having a Fiesta Fifty!  I still have to pick up a pinata, drinks, straws, and misc. items.  Oh yeah, and the rest of her gift.  Guess I'll be busy tomorrow!  I wish I didn't have to work today.  I'm trying not to get stressed out.  I made this party a little easier on myself.  I'm having it catered by El Chico's and I ordered a cake from Misty's wonderful cake lady, Olivia, at Dream Cakes Etc.  Having a party is so much easier when you're not cooking 80 things, like I did for a Christmas party a few years ago.

I'm completely excited about the concept of the party.  I bought fake mustaches and have a sombrero for some funny picture opportunities.  How awesome will it be to see adults trying to break a pinata?!  I don't have time to post the pictures and ideas that I have on here today, but I'll post some of the pictures of the party on here.  If it comes together, it should be pretty great!

Guess, I better get ready to shower and head to work.  Yesterday, was a mix of not busy, slammed, and then not busy.  I hope we stay lightly steady, but not slammed or full of really sick people.  We had another code yesterday.  I swear, they happen like every day now.  People need to stop having heart attacks or respiratory arrests!  I will say the adrenaline brought me out of the Benadryl haze I was in.

I'll leave you with more reasons that I'm looking forward to fall:  hot chocolate, sweaters, leaves changing colors, nights on the back deck, running in the mornings (hmm, can I run if I do get pregnant?  I'm guessing that it's probably frowned upon because I know your heart rate shouldn't go up that high. Guess it's time to invest in a watch with a heart rate monitor on it), farmer's market, Halloween, scary movie watching, Thanksgiving, pies (dang the whole sugar restriction thing!), going to the flea market and not pouring sweat, pumpkin spice anything, breaking out pajama pants and house shoes, no more suffocating heat, boots, scarves, the return of a couple of my favorite tv shows, and so much more.  I love Fall!

My mom would kill me, if she knew I posted these pictures, but check out the ones below!  This is how to look good at 50!  Do you see where my genes come from, as far as, looking younger?

Cycle Two

Yep, we're on to cycle two.  I hope this is the one.  Otherwise, I may have to sit a month out.  I spent much of the last one bloated beyond belief, face breaking out like crazy, and just feeling off.  Not to mention, (yes, this is too much info) the first two days of this period were excruciating.  I mean, I have bad cramps a lot, but I actually thought that I might get sick at work on Saturday.  It literally hurt down to my hip bones and tail bone.  Thank you fertility drugs for that! 

We're very hopeful this time around.  This will be my last mention of it for now per Mr. O's wishes.  I feel better about the time frame of this one..and our newly soon-to-be empty house.  You know what I'm sayin'!

It's funny because every time I think or type Cycle whatever, I think of America's Next Top Model. Hopefully, this egg will be the sure fire winner, not the plus-size model that Tyra defends and wants to win because she is trying to make her own weight gain okay or let's hope it's not the eccentric gorgeous person who they push through in hopes that they will somehow turn into a model instead of just an odd pretty person.  Yes, I know entirely too much about ANTM.  I'll admit it, I watched it up until about three seasons ago.  It reminded me of being fourteen surrounded by my Sassy, YM and Seventeen magazines.  I'm a sucker for nostalgia, pretty faces, and cat fights.

Speaking of that, one of the best lines in ANTM history, "So what are you doin', alcoholic b!tch!"  Nice right.  I'm sure I lost brain cells from watching that show.
 

When will I learn...

• not to open the perfume samples in magazines.  They hardly ever smell good and then you're left with a horrible smell every time you open the magazine.  Yuck.
• that the bike helmet that the kid behind us left in his yard is not a dead animal or a small human head.  I swear, every time I walk to my car I do a double take and think, "Oh my gosh, what is it?  Is it a small human head?"  I'm been doing this for like a month.  I'm annoying myself!
• to put an extra pair of scrubs in my car.  I almost got projectile vomited on by a five year old on Saturday.  It was very, very close. 
• not to tell strangers my name when I answer they phone and they ask, "Who is this?"  Um, I learned that one at like five from my mother.  I might as well say, "Hey, stalker!  Here I am.  Come and get me!"  I am being pranked called from not one, but two numbers and one of them is using a voice disguiser.  Talk about scary!  I'm freaked out.  It's definitely at least two guys.  One of them accidentally left me a message on my voicemail when he told someone else, "You said she was on the phone. It went to her voicemail."  I have no clue who it is.  It's not like I give my number out to strangers.  Maybe they randomly found my number.  I won't answer any unknown number now, so if you call me from a strange number, make sure you leave a voicemail and please don't use a voice disguiser!  I swear, I watch too many scary movies and CSI!

And then there were two

For the past almost two and half years, we have had a house guest.  First, my beautiful, smart, and funny nephew moved in with us.  It was a learning experience, but so much fun.  We were very sad when he left our house.

Before he moved out, my sister-in-law and her daughter moved in with us, last April.  They have been here ever since then.  Well, Audra has decided to move in with my other sister-in-law, Amara.  Essentally, it will help Amara out, since she is going through a divorce and they do not plan on selling their house.  Now, I'll leave my personal opinion out of this. 

I'm happy for Audra and hope that this move will be a good one for her and Ava.  I know, both Audra and Amara need someone right now, so I think it's good for their well-being to be together.  I'm sure Aaron and I will be sad again when they move out, which is this week and next, if it takes that long to do a little at a time.

All I know is that after all this time, I am thrilled at the idea of having our house back.  We'll get back to hanging out and cuddling, taking care of home improvement projects that we have put off, going for afternoon walks, playing more games, having sex whenever we want to, and having a clutter free home.  It feels amazing!  I am so excited.

I'm not sure if you guys realize, but we haven't been "normal" since August 07 when I started nursing school.  We haven't been just Aaron and I and me without a book under my nose (or the above mentioned house guests) for that long.  Can you understand the excitement?

I really wanted to get pregnant and spend the last nine months together just us and it is happening!  I feel grateful for everything I have received in my life.  I think this is one of those things.  It is yet another thing that has fallen into my lap without effort. 

I am so ready to begin this next chapter in our life.  Bring on the honeymoon phase...again!

Cycle One

Cycle one failed.  I started my period this morning, but, on a positive note, at least, I know it worked.  Next up, round two, hopefully.  I'll call the doctor on Monday and see where we go from here.  Positive energy sent our way could never hurt.

Do you feel the crispness

Every once in a while, when I've gone from the bonus room down to our kitchen, I get hit with cooler air and the smell of my nutmeg wall flower and it instantly takes me Fall.  I get all of these thoughts all at once.  It's like nostalgia smacks me in the face.  I cannot wait for Fall.

Last summer I was sad that summer was leaving, but this year, not so much.  I'm ready for the cool breeze, falling leaves, pumpkin spice coffee, boots, my multitude of plaid shirts, and just the crispness that Fall has that Summer, well, lacks.  Most importantly, I'm ready for this freakin' heat to end. 

With all of the above being said, I got my Fall issue of Lucky in the mail last week.  Fall issues of fashion magazines are my favorite.  This Lucky issue did not disappoint.  Below are the things that I am coveting from it. 

Three of the things that are my favorites, I can't find online. Grrr.  I'm too lazy to go get my camera and download pictures of the pages, but these things are so good that I'm really tempted.  I definitely will another day.  Those shoes above are named "Kiss at Midnight."  Swoon.  Oh yeah, that outfit above is from K-Mart.  I'm serious, I wouldn't lie to you!

Things I'm loving this fall are military looks, ribbed socks with heels, wrap sweater vests, capes, the color camel, hunting inspired things, menswear flats, tights (of course.), and boots in all styles.  I'm falling in love with fashion again.  Get it.  I know, dork. 

Oh, I did find two fabulous coats at Burlington Coat Factory last week.  One is pictured below.  I got it in navy.  I love it so much.  Bring on the cold weather!

It has a face and sweetness inside

I have another universe story for you.  I forgot to tell you, but before we went on vacation, I went to Kroger to do some grocery shopping.  I went with my sister-in-law and niece.  It's always a different experience when you go with someone to the grocery than when you go by yourself.  I feel less focused and it never fails that I forgot something.  Of course, I like going with someone better than going by myself, at least most of the time. 

When we were almost finished about to head to the checkout, I realized that I had forgotten honey, which was at the beginning of the store.  With a cart full of food and having been there for an hour already, I debated about walking across the entire store for honey or just letting it go.  I bet I stood there a few minutes going back and forth about going to get it or not going to get it.  In fact, I was heading there when I changed my mind and got into line instead.

Well, my friends, guess who was sitting at the end of the conveyor belt smiling at me?  A honey bear.  I just smiled and shook my head and said a silent thank you and tossed him with my other groceries.  Little things like that make my day. 

Weightless

I'm in a good place right now.  The best place that I have ever been in my whole life.  I can't really explain it, but have you ever thought there is a plan for you?  My old self would be mortified that I'm typing this.  I used to be, let's just say, less than religious.  Now you won't find me in church every Sunday, but that doesn't mean that I don't believe that there is something bigger than us.  I also don't believe that this bigger something is going to shun us for not going to church two days a week.  Doesn't that just go against everything that Christianity stands for?  We're not supposed to judge, right? 

One of the things that I have disliked about certain churches I have tried is that they do judge, very much so and we don't have the right to judge each other.  So what, they believe in Buddha, they don't celebrate their birthday, or they have mass.  We all know that their is something bigger than us, but the face of what it is shouldn't matter as long as we believe.

I use the term the Universe, but I believe it's a combination of a higher power, our spirits and energy, and our actions.  It took my dad dying for me to see the bigger picture.  It slapped me across the face that day.  How could I have been so judgemental about what people believed and religion?  I have never turned back to the way that I was then.  It's like a weight lifted off my shoulders that day.

This idea started being implanted years ago.  When I was 21 years-old, I fell asleep at the wheel driving home after a night of drinking and only having three hours of sleep in almost 48 hours.  I woke up in time to turn the wheel to avoid a huge tree, one I would find out later that had claimed many lives.  I ended up going inbetween a telephone pole and another tree.  When the officer got on the scene, he stood in between the telephone pole and the tree and held out his arms and his fingertips almost touched.  Essentially, my car had just enough room to get through the two of them.  He said something along the lines of, "Do you realize how lucky you are?  Someone was watching over tonight.  You need be very thankful that you are even alive."  I remember thinking, "Yeah, right."  Of course, with that being said, I didn't go out for a while.  My friends would call begging me to come out and I said, "No."  What that officer said had been pushed to the back of my mind, but it was still there.

Later that same year, I would do something even stupider.  I won't elaborate on what happened, but I was a lucky girl twice.  I wouldn't look back on this event for years, but after my dad died, I took a look back at my life and thought how lucky I had been..twice.

Lately, that feeling of there being a plan for me has been on my mind a lot.  It's a combination of other things and this knowledge of near death experiences.  I almost feel like I'll know what it is soon. I have no idea why or how I could possibly know this, but there is this gut feeling lingering. 

Of course, if I don't find it out for years, I'll be okay with that too.  I know it's something and I won't stop believing that.  This place I'm in is magical and carefree and weightless.  I wish I had opened myself up to it years ago.

Don't call the psych ward on me!  Besides you're not supposed to judge me, remember?  I believe what I believe and no one can take that away from me.  I only hope you all find this weightless and freeing energy at some point in your life.  To be out from under the self-hatred and constraints of what other's believe is a gift.  It's a gift that I won't soon forget or throw away.

Vacation education

Things I learned on vacation

• I can only handle so much of my mom's boyfriend without wanting to punch him in the face..repeatedly.  I don't think one person could be any more of negative or douchey.  I used to defend him, but those days are over. 
• There are a lot jelly fish in the Atlantic.  My mom and I are the only ones that did not get stung out of the nine of us. 
• I love, love my family, but I had to readjust to "living" with them.  I almost had my first panic attack in a long, long time on the very first night.  I have learned that three kids, especially boys, are very loud, a small kitchen will never work with a large family, and that personal space should be forgotten when around family.
• I loved Tybee Island, despite getting sunburned, a rash/irritation on my face from using sunscreen, a cold sore, mosquito bites, and burn on the roof of my mouth.  I swear my body was rejecting vacation, but I ignored it and had a blast.
• Don't believe the hype on some restaurants that are suggested to you.  Waiting in line for 40 minutes in the hot sun was not worth it for The Breakfast Club.  I know this if we ever go back.
• Date nights on vacation are the bestest!
• Homemade ice cream is a must at least two or three days in a row.
• Riding our bikes everywhere was a highlight of the whole trip.  If only everything was so close, that I could ride everywhere now, I totally would.
• Despite the statement at the top of this list, being with my family was great.  It's the first time that we've slept under the same roof, since my dad died.  When that happened, Aaron and I stayed a few days with my mom, sister, Hayden, and Billy Joe, all of whom lived in our old house.  That helped us get through that painful situation.
• My mom looks absolutely incredible to be turning 50 at the end of this month.  I mean, I know this already, but seeing her in a bikini was jaw-dropping.  I only hope that I age that well!
• The alphabet game, played on long drives, never gets old, no matter how old you get.
• Being in a beach town is nice.  People are eating at restaurants with tank tops over bathing suits with wet hair and no makeup.  It doesn't take much for you to look nice!
• Boys are so much fun, despite their loudness.  One night while Aaron and I were laying on the couch and everyone was getting ready for bed.  My three year old nephew came up right in front of my face and said, "It's not time for sleep.  I'm ready to go.  We're going on vacation."  If you all could have only seen the facial expressions and the clap and little dance with the "I'm ready to go."  Aaron and I were laughing so hard.  That kid has one of the most expressive and cool personalities of any kid I have ever met and his brother is cool beyond his years.  My brother and sister-in-law know how to raise some pretty amazing kids.  Riding bikes, swinging on swings, playing with them at the beach, and building a garage for matchbox cars will be some of my best memories when I look back on vacation.  My nephews really do help make my world a very happy place.  I feel blessed to be a part of their world and watch them grow.
• If I pack books for the beach, I really should get them out and read them or pack more clothes or shoes in their place.
• The ttelevision is better left off.  We barely watched it and I didn't miss it at all.
• Packing cleaning supplies is important, especially when you arrive to a dirty beach house.  Gross.

Sunshiny things in July

These are the great things that July brought to me.

.  visits with the fertility witchdoctors  .

.  new found wisdom  .

.  refinancing for 1.25% less .

.  having enough equity to do some home remodeling  .

.  dinner with one of my favorite people  .

.  celebrating my beautiful sister-in-law  .

.  City House pizza  .

.  dinner with two more of our favorite people  .

.  alluring summer nights  .

.  going to my old stomping grounds with Beaz  .

.  being inspired by my friends  .

.  anticipating vacation  .

.  not feeling like I missed out on Fourth of July .

.  successful making of my next schedule with my partner at work  .

.  having coworkers that will cover for me when I need them too  .

. summer corn chowder  .

.  cheap school clothes finds for my nephew  .

.  riding a tricycle with my niece  .

.  girl chats with Audra  .

.  glasses of cab-sauv wine .

.  loving my husband more and more as the days go by  .

.  make-believe time with Ava  .

.  Sarah's House  .

.  sunday morning coffee and paper reading  .

.  summer thunderstorms that roll by in a blink  .

.  crisp cool sheets on hot nights  .
.  underwear and t-shirt sleeping  .
.  jean cut-offs and sandals  .

Let's play catch-up

I had a million ideas for posts the week before we left for vacation, but I had no time.  That week was completely exhausting.  I have forgotten most of it, so I figure I would do a little catch up. 

Vacation was so nice.  I wish we could go on at least four or five a year.  I'll do another post of pictures and "Things I learned on vacation."  Give or take a few things, I loved vacation. 

We went to our doctor's appointment when we got back into town.  We received good news.  No, I'm not pregnant yet.  So far we've paid $746.25, which blows my mind, but is so worth it at the same time.  I also promised Mr. O that I would not talk about this or blog about this anymore, unless we get bad news, which isn't going to happen. Expect to hear from me in, oh, 8 weeks, give or take a week or two or three.

I have to go into work today for the first time in like 10 days.  I'm not dreading it as badly as I expected, but that could change as I'm clocking in at the time clock at 1:00.  I actually took Saturday off this week too, so I'll be off another six days after I work today and tomorrow.  It's almost like getting a second vacation.  Word.  I'm hoping to get to see some of you over this time too.

Some miscellaneous items are:  I'm tan!  I like it.  I gained four pounds over vacation.  Seriously, how does that happen?  I think it's partly that I'm bloated, maybe from the meds or maybe I just gorged myself and was way off my normal routine.  I'm still dumbfounded by seeing the true character of a person that I'm close too.  It's so disappointing when realize that someone can be nothing like you thought they were.  Yes, that's vague, but that's how I'm leaving that.  I'm working on the whole coffee thing, but I just can't give it up yet.  Addiction is hard, man.  How did August get here so quickly?  I'm still dumbfounded by that.  This year has flown by.  Speaking of that, I've officially been a nurse for one year.  I can't believe that either.  Of course, I have only been nursing for 9 months.  I'm proud of how much I have grown and learned in such a short time. 

That's it and that's all for now, my friends.  More to follow over my six days off.  I'm going to try to do better with blogging.  I know you're all dying to hear my thoughts more.