Oh, the horror!!

So, you're all dying to know what else happened on my mom's birthday.  Well, my mom's boyfriend, Michael, who you may remember from this post, took her out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel (my mom loves it), then he drove her out to the Inn at Evins Mills.  We sent them there to stay as a Christmas present a few years ago.  It is gorgeous out there.  I want to go, but it's not cheap to stay. 

Well, you can hike for free there and use their trails.  There are miles of trails, creeks, and waterfalls.  Well, they went hiking and they hiked down to the bottom of a big waterfall and he asked her to marry him.

I'm still trying to process this.  Granted, they have been dating for like six years.  I should have seen this coming, right?  He is just such a douchebag.  Ugh.

The only positive out of this is the ring.  It is gorgeous!  In fact, when my mom showed me the ring the only thing I could say was, "That ring is awesome!"  She called me the next day to ask me what I thought about him asking her and I said, "That ring is gorgeous!" and then promptly changed the subject.  I cannot lie to my momma, peeps.

I don't know what to say yet.  I know, I'll have to have a talk with her about it.  In fact, I have to talk to her about it.  It's very hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that she chooses assholes every time.  Every single stinking time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but he was a big ol' jerk.  I spent much of my time defending all of us, which landed me in trouble a lot.  He constantly put us down and called us names.  The day he called my mom a "stupid bitch!" and my brother, sister, and I "stupid dumb asses" when I was the only one there and they weren't there to defend themselves turned me into a stark-raving lunatic. No one calls my momma that!  I proceeded to say, "The only idiot in this house is you and you're redundant use of stupid and dumb," or something along those lines.  What followed was not pretty, partly because I know he didn't know what redundant meant and I proved my point.  I wonder why we all had self-esteem issues and self-hatred?

Now, he wasn't always that bad. He spent the last ten years of his life in a lot pain and very sick.  This is isn't a bashing of him, nor am I defending him either.  It's just to show the choices she makes in men.  It's mind boggling.  I know, my bio(logical) dad wasn't much better.  He was/is very emotionless, distant and had his own anger/pouting problem.  The funny thing is Michael reminds me a lot of him, even down to appearance, although, the bio dad is more handsome (shout out, to good genes).

The only thing I can figure is that growing up seeing my grandmother's choices in men, somehow led to this pattern.  Although, none of them have been alcoholics or physically abusive, the emotional abuse and the subservience is there. 

I'm sorry, but women were not put on this earth to bow down to men.  Hell-to-the-no!  I don't care what some churches preach. Times have changed and it is not the 1950's anymore.  I will never understand that mentality.  In fact, if a man really loves you, he wouldn't either.  It's ridiculous, not to mention chauvinistic and out-dated.

Well, looks like someone has some daddy issues. I thought about not publishing this because it's really personal and, obviously, opens up some wounds and so much anger. I figure, you've already heard about my uterus, so there isn't much left to hide from you.   I just don't get why some women choose the way that they choose.

Any advice, besides see a shrink?  Ultimately, I know it's her choice.  Luckily, they aren't getting married anytime soon.  Oh, and they are planning to have a small ceremony, in which, my mom wants me to help her plan it.  That is just fantastic.